Nose cancer!

It was in Aug 1992 when i was diagnosed with Nose Cancer (NPC or nasal pharyngeal carcinoma in medical term).


I was only in my 20's... of course it came as a shock to me. Never did i suspect i would contract cancer. In the beginning it was only a little nose bleeding once in a while, but over a long period of more than 2 years. Otherwise I was such an active young girl. I was doing an hour step aerobics once a week; I swam twice a week; I was active... So when the doctor at SGHospital revealed to me that I had nose cancer at the 2nd stage, I could not believe my ears. I was startled with fear. Did the doctor make a mistake? I was wondering how it had ever happened.


I asked God, I prayed, I cried... Why me? I was only so young? What if I die?

I was totally lost...

My parents and siblings didn't seem to take it very hard when I told them about it. Well, maybe they were so shocked themselves that they didn't know how to react. Their cold response was very hurting. We were never very close anyway. There were always fights and violence between parents, towards children and among siblings at home, that was how I was brought up. There was little love and care, if there was, they were not shown much at all by action or words. Finally my parents divorced when we were all grown ups. Since then the family had been staying apart. Mom remarried, dad remained alone, sister who couldn't get along with both parents moved out to stay on her own. I moved out to stay on my own too. My brother stayed with mom.


It was a heart breaking situation... family of five but were staying at four different places! It was definitely not something pleasant to tell people about... I had always refrained from talking about my family...



And now I was down with cancer! How traumatic! Out of distress I asked God why this was happening to me. Hadn't I suffered enough? My childhood was already a mess! I lived among fights and violence almost everyday. Finally I'd grown up and while thinking I was able to be independent now, I realised I had to earn enough to meet the family financial demand. My parents would ask me for allowance, and to me, all they cared for was my money. They wouldn't call me for anything else. My heart was cold... I thought I had only friends, no family. I was only doing my duty as a daughter, though I had always wondered if they even deserved it.

It was a whole lot of unhappiness and negativeness in my life... and now, nose cancer!

I was seeking God: Lord, what's Your purpose for my cancer? Did You not say in the Bible that in everything that happens, there is always a purpose? I am trusting You for that, Lord.

I started praying for this purpose to manifest. I wanted to know what it was. I was not willing to suffer from cancer for nothing...

I prayed everyday for God to show me... in His time